Do you know him or her?

I had therapy this week and I was talking about stuff and the mental noise that goes on in my head during different social interactions. I get really rattled when something happens that is somewhat deep and I am confused about how to interpret it. It is like I always look to the other person for clues on how to respond or behave, instead of just responding or behaving the way "I" want to. During this conversation I mentioned that I was reading a book about excavating the your authentic self. When I mentioned this, my T asked: Do you have a clear picture of who your authentic self is... and at that moment, with the anxiety of having to talk about personal stuff, my response was NO. But later, when i was home alone and journaling she seemed to surface fairly clearly or at least...the vision of who I would like to be more surfaced more clearly.

My question for the group today is do you know or have a good sense of who you are? Are you able to stay connected to that YOU, during therapy or when interacting with others? I think a lot of my anxiety comes because I tend to lose her (or protect/hide her) when interacting with others. I start looking externally for clues for how to interpret, react or respond to situations, instead of calling you out and choosing the appropriate reaction for myself. Does this make sense to anyone else?