Chaotic
Thats a good question, one that I struggle with as well. Just yesterday in session I was talking about how when I am with patient's at the hospital, I can go in with complete confidence and do what I have to do. That I interact with them so well. My instructor's are always commenting on how well I interact with my patient's.

Then she says to me, do you believe what they are saying, does it match how you feel? I said no, not at all. I told her that I feel like I live two seperate lives, that I can't show the real me. That I can't be intimate with people and told her how frustrating that is, putting on a strong front all the time.

So then ahe says "how would you describe yourself"? I got stuck, had no words. I had no idea how to decribe me. That was a crappy moment.
I told her more than anything, something that I really want to work on is showing the real me, being able to trust people, being able to be vulnerable when needed. To get to the place where I can actually be intimate with people.