Dog damn it!

What the fcuk is wrong wth me? Why is it so easy for me to screw up a perfectly good thing. Have I no social graces whatsoever?

I'm so pissed that I came here to help sort out my issues (issues, feels like I have a full subscription), and all I do is manifest my flaws again...here...with such insensitivity and self-centered idiocy as to be just absurd.

It's like I'm chasing people away from me by being completely inapropriate. I lose friends by being over candid, I lose the friendship of wonderful women by expressing some of what I feel inside, and I lose self esteem the whole time for being a total dip-$hit!

All the while, my wife is putting up with me. I tell her the meds aren't working as well as I thought they should, because I'm still way too moody. She accepts it because she knows I'm having a hard time coping with my "weakness", but still, it isn't healthy for her or for the people around me that I continue to alienate by being such a dik.

AARRGGHH!!! Somebody hit me in the head with a bat, PLEASE!