First of all, I would like to congratulate you on your marriage, child and your strength in trying to parent differently than the manner in which you were parented. It takes a VERY strong person to not mimic what was modeled by parents/ caretakers. It takes a VERY strong person to remain married for a decade, and it takes an incredibly strong person to find a partner after you observed three of your mother's marriages end in divorce. I know plenty of people who would pay to inherit your strength and will to change "the only way I've known."

If your mother divorced three times, does that say something about her decision-making? Is your mother modeling the same behavior she learned from her parent(s)/ caretaker(s)? Did she "grow up in" a different generation when kids were expected to obey, no matter what? DId she "grow up" during a time when parents were more likely to mention what kids didn't do "right?"

A lot of children don't like the way they were parented. The problem is, many of these children will "grow up" to parent exactly as their parents. Many children become angry with their parents, separate and then learn forgiveness...after the children better learn to protect themselves and "get their needs met."

Some people consider Christian Scientists as a cult which blocks independent thinking. Cults "love bomb" people, give those people PLENTY of homework to occupy their minds and then teach them to obey (without question). Has your mother learned to obey and stop questioning? Does she expect you to do the same?

What would you say to another guy who told you this same information about his mother? Pretend you know a 35 year old guy who said his mother was behaving in this way, and his mother hurt him during his childhood; what would you say to him?

Could you approach your mother, shake her hand, and say "Hi. I'm Pete. I'm 35 years old. I am an adult with a wife and daughter. I would like to get to begin as if we were strangers, and we just met today. In order for me to do that, I need to begin anew. When you say something, I may need to stop and think about my response. I may need to tell you if it feels hurtful. We may need to talk about things more. I would appreciate if your response wasn't angry, and I won't react as if I am a child. I am an adult now, and I have a right to tell you things which make me feel bad. Old rules and ways may change. If that's okay with you, we could start today to try and find a way to communicate which allows me to feel okay and for you to feel okay. Would you like to try?"

Other alternative: Send yourself a letter to yourself from your mom. Say all the things you would like to hear your mom say to you. Pretend that's your real mother, or send her a copy.

...just some ideas