unfortunately he lives on another continent so about all i can do is raise my mug to him. it's an online friendship and we're quite close but it's not romantic. i seem to help him out spiritually quite a bit and he helps me out intellectually as he's super brainy. i've got the stupid romantic transference though and i suspect he does as well. he's married but his wife is cool with our friendship as she's a therapist and knows i'm helping him. he discusses our conversations with her sometimes too.

yeah, he sort of got mad out of the blue but my comment seemed to trigger him. i thought it was harmless and had no idea. i tried to explain about what he was getting mad at me about. i think he misunderstood some things and i apologized for not being clearer. then, i sent him another email and told him i was really kind of hurt by how he said things. he was kind of harsh. i've heard nada. i guess he's in that dang cave you guys go into. what is in there anyway? someone needs to invent a cavecam.


i've sent him 3 emails, 2 to explain things he said and the third telling him i'm hurt. i never say things like i'm hurt to people. i don't want to email him again yet as i figure he needs his space. the silence is just hard and confusing.


normally he's great but he does seem to have a lot of anger. it is very rarely directed at me though. he knows i get freaked out by anger in men as my dad was like that. i'm trying to not be so afraid of anger in others and stand up for myself but it's not easy and i guess i expect when i do the right thing then others are supposed to respond appropriately which doesn't always happen. thanks for listening!