I guess what I'm trying to say is that I desperately yearn for something more meaningful than just superficiality with others. But I feel stuck in superficiality. It's the only way I can seem to be with people because it is just too scary to be any other way. This makes me feel so sad and isolated. But I don't know how to trust people enough to let them in. I am sure that many people who know me would say they have a relationship with me and perhaps even count me as a friend. But it is based on so little. If I only show them 1/10 of myself, and hide the other 9/10, how could we have a relationship or be friends? In reality, they only like what they know. They believe that what they see is "it," that they see and understand me. But it's such a small part. I can't count on anybody truly caring about me or liking me if it is based on such a small part of who I really am.