You captured the feeling in words Capp

And at the end of every comment or explanation or description, I want to say "I'm sorry." Isn't that pitiful. Always feeling "sorry" for things where we didn't even have a choice.

And to top that off, when I say "I'm sorry" I trigger myself because of forced writing of those words over and over as a school boy abused by teachers.

It's like going in circles.