Hi Dog, I'm home now and can take my time here. Uh oh, for you, lol.

I see two sides to this episode, first, I believe what you experienced is a bp cycle, paranoia with psychotic features. I know that in the moment of it all "happening" it "felt" very real to you. You had an emotional reaction to what you were perceiving, even crying at one point because you were so consumed by the belief that these ppl really didn't like you, or want to be with you, and that your an idiot that only deserves sympathy.
Having read and reread what you wrote, based on that, none of these are true. Therefore, it IS your illness and as sqrl said, it is progressive. So the fact that you haven't experienced psychotic feature for 6-7 yrs, doesn't really mean anything. My heart goes out to you for what a horrible experience that must have been. But can you see now, in the light of day, that this was an "episode", not reality? You even state in your post things like, "I think they were worried" and "I felt that they..." or "I thought that they...", as if now you're saying you know it wasn't true or based upon anything in reality. Then the headlights of cars hypnotized you to the point that you're standing in the street with oncoming traffick, seemingly oblivious to the fact that you have put yourself in danger. To me, that's a clear indication of detachment.
So do you see what I'm getting at here? Coming from someone outside your own head, can you see that this is not "normal" behavior, thoughts, feelings and actions?

Now before getting all upset with me for saying you were out of touch with reality, allow me to make my second observation. LOL

I'm no expert, but your paranoid feelings, I believe, were issues that already lay below the surface. That even in the light of day and both feet planted firmly on the ground, you believe on some unconscious level that you are an idiot, that you don't deserve their freindship, that they only pity you and don't really want to hang out with you, etc...your self-esteem issues are easy prey for your illnesses. You've known your whole life that you are different. You've known that there is something perhaps "off" about yourself, this led to self-doubt, self-loathing and difficulty trusting others, even difficulty cultivating relationships of any kind. What do you think? Is this sounding like "truth" to you at all? Mind you, this is just my observation based on a 2 posts you've made, my experience of you is quite limited, lol.

So, all that being said, I find you to be quite intelligent, articulate, expressive, honest, sincere, kind and empathetic. I believe that you are of a good heart and a gentle soul.

As far as the med issue, I have to bow out on this one. I'm confronting some issues of my own on that front, so right now I don't feel quite as concise in my thinking about meds, that I once had. I will say, meds are something you need to continue to experiment with and find out what works with the least amount of side-effects. Geez, I can really related to that. It sounds as though you are biologically quite sensitive to chemicals, especially particularly strong ones such as the anti-psychotics. Lamictal might be worth looking into.
Also, on this subject...I'm not going to nag you or lecture you but I will simply state that drinking alcohol, in any amount, is not a good idea for you. Please be careful about that, especially if taking meds.

Well, I hope this has been of some help to you. Do you see now why I couldn't do this at work, lol, didn't I mention that I'm a bit long winded? LOL, that just be THE understatement of the year! Keep your self of humor, don't take life too seriously and keep searching for anwers and solutions, okay?
We'll be here with you every step of the way, you are not alone on the journey we call bi-polar. I feel as though I've finally found "my ppl" since finding this place and posting here. Lots of great ppl. I don't think you'll be disappointed. Check out the other forums, go to chat if you're able and get to know some of us. Frankly, I'm really looking forward to conversing with you some more. I pretty much hand out here in bp, so look me up on my posts and I'll look for your too. TgrsPurr. xo