After I was manic, I went through a long depression, part of the cycle of things. It took a while for my meds to be correct and pull me out of it.
While I hurt my husband by falling in love (my delusion) with a man I'd never talked to or saw in person (it was all on the trouble net), I couldn't feel guilty about it. I do feel bad about the 1000 dollar plane ticket I bought to go see my 'friend' in England, but even that got used for a good thing. My husband and I had been having trouble for a long time, so I was vulnerable...I put it to my bp and anger at my husband and I hope it never happens again. But as long as my husband and I are like we are, I feel vulnerable to the next guy who comes along. Which may have already happened. My pdoc says as long as I stick with my meds and ther. then I should be ok. I watch for things. Depression has been my worst thing all my life, I only went seriously manic that one time, otherwise hypomanic. No hosp. no jail time so I'm lucky...I know it too. The internet has put me in a place I would never find myself in 'real life'. That is a concern.
I hope you and your husband get some counseling and can work this all out. Mine and I are trying a new counselor next week, hopefully this one will be better than the last.