blah, i am tired. emotionally. I feel i need a break for myself from studies that everything takes so much more time than i think it would.

I feel like - that cloth you mope the flour with. On one hand i do develop personally and all the creativ thing is better - and my works too - but i just - you know - you tell yourself you will get up earlier but when it come down to it you find yourself staying up late untill 02:00 AM and getting up and 12:00

I really have tried so force myself to ****ing work especially that now i do come to terms with it but i feel - well there are leftovers of enxiety but i am somehow working on it...i just feel tired, spent,careless. I always have it at the end of the semester.

I wouldfeel bad for not doing things on time, i never did all i planned. It is also hard when you have your own apartment and need to clean and cook. i start the week fine but i always find myself doing something else. not what i shld be doing..(like now lol) but this time i did plan it.

i have an illustraiton class tomorrow. I need to give her 2 finished lustraitons and tomorrow - you know right now at the moment i thought i would actually go dot andam all like "HO NOOOOOO! not another hamster skethc!!!!! pleaeaeaeaeaeeassse!!!!!!!

nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I cant ****ing do it anymore. if i start now or the one i did on thursday - i feel i am gonna **** it up. and it s easy to destroy but ard to correct - watercolor.

****

what should i do?

I jus think of it and i feel rage ...i hate it...i am SICK OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

leave me the **** alone you mother****ers leave me the **** alone!

i need some REST you know.....

i need to do what i like.. i have JUST STARTED to find myself again after all these years..............

all these ****ing 3 years of HELL

HELL ON EARTH PPL it was hell on earth those 3 years of college. especially the first and the first semester of the third.

I don`t know how i survived it.