Darrel,

I can't imagine what that would be like to grow up without a mother. But with a parade of step-mothers like you had, I don't see how any of them could have given you the stability and love that you are supposed to get from a mother. {{{{hugs}}}}

Yes, you could say that I also have issue with an inner child and oppression. My Father was just so aloof and clueless. He always had his nose stuck in a book and just never noticed the family or anything going on around him. My mother was over protective, and while she probably thought she had my best interests at heart, she couldn't let go or trust me enough to let me do things or make my own choices. Then my younger sister was just like a little clone of my mother, portable version since she could follow me around when my mother couldn't, and repeat the same messages - never to risk anything or try anything.

I keep evaluating how my experiences relate to the material from my Personality Theory class. The theorist we just covered was Erik Erikson, who set up an outline of developmental psychology. There are eight developmental stages from infancy through old age. Each stage involves a develomental crisis and a characteristic that is gained when the crisis is successfully resolved. I could give you a summary of all that, but I'm afraid that it would be too long, even for this thread. Let's see... ah, here's a website that has all the information, including a chart of the eight stages. <A target="_blank" HREF=http://facultyweb.cortland.edu/~ANDERSMD/ERIK/welcome.HTML>http://facultyweb.cortland.edu/~ANDERSMD/ERIK/welcome.HTML</A>

Part of my homework I did just last night was to discuss Erikson's theory and how it can be applied to my own life or people in general. I'll give you an exerpt from my homework that seems at least a little relevant:

<font color=blue>It is mentioned that the outcome of any stage is not necessarily permanent, that future benign or pathogenic conditions may counteract prior deficiencies or accomplishments. Also, successful resolution of earlier stages is more likely to lead to and is sometimes required for success in resolving the following crises. In light of this, it may be desirable for one to return to earlier stages that may not have been resolved satisfactorily and attempt to work towards an improved outcome.

Although Erickson defines these stages in a linear manner, with one following another in succession, I feel that it is possible for an individual to be involved in more than one of the developmental crises simultaneously. In my own life, it seems to me that the only one of these crises that I was able to achieve the desirable outcome in at the time of that developmental stage was the first, basic trust vs. mistrust. After that, I felt more shame and doubt than autonomy, as my parents did not allow me choice and control. Guilt predominated over initiative, as I was not permitted to pursue goals of my choosing. Inferiority predominated over industry, as I was taught that nothing that I did could be good enough. Somewhere through the stages of adolescence, young adulthood, and adulthood, however, I must have experienced some positive conditions that allowed me to change these outcomes, as I did at some time develop the characteristics of will power, purpose, and competence.

The crises of the later stages, identity vs. role confusion, intimacy vs. isolation, and generativity vs. stagnation, may not all be resolved yet and I feel that I have had to face all of these as recently as during the last several months, and sometimes they have seemed to overlap. As Erikson himself suffered role confusion until during his twenties he became involved with psychoanalysis, I have fluctuated from one role to another and only in the last few months settled on a vocation that I truly identify with. Although I was married at 20 years old, I have still struggled with feelings of isolation. And, although I have children and care for them, merely having children is not sufficient evidence that the crisis of adulthood has been resolved. The final crisis, integrity vs. despair, cannot be achieved until the others have been resolved, and I have not reached Erikson’s maturity stage.</font color=blue>

There's some material for you, anyway.

<font color=purple>"The real problem of mental life is not why some people become insane, but rather why most avoid insanity." -Erich Fromm</font color=purple>