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Old Jan 25, 2009, 10:04 AM
lucyv lucyv is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2009
Posts: 3
hi, i am new here but i think i have a real problem with attachment. I have been seperated for 3 years and last year i met a guy 10 years younger than me i was 38, he 28...we saw each other at the weekends as he lived in Belgium and I in the UK.Everything was great... but recently i have been having doubts. I have secured a job in Brussels and will be living with him. He is not an easy person, he is a workaholic with his own business, he is often moody,remote and unaffectionate. He is always too tired for sex and this makes me feel rejected. If i initiate sex i am often pushed away and it really hurts me. Im not sure if this is my own problem with neediness or not. I always feel he will find a girl his own age and when he rejects me this feeling is compounded. He always tells me he loves me and misses me and was happy i had secured a good job so we can be together. He sends me conflicting messages all the time...says one thing and does another.
when i stayed with him recently i found he had joined a dating site, when i asked him about it he told me he was just curious. He was mad with me for not believing him, but i am struggling with that. I am having a real issue with trust now and when he tells me he is going somewhere i dont believe him. I am moving my whole life to be with him but im beginning to think it is not a good idea. I can't seem to decide whether it is me being clingy, possessive, jealous (anxious attachment) or he is really bad news... i just cant seem to trust my judgment, therefore i can't make a rational decision. My head is such a mess with this.... i try to say to myself... get rid of him, but i can't actually do it because i think im being irrational. any advice on this will be MUCH appreciated.