I agree that some kinds of dissociation can be a good thing and are fairly normal. It becomes a problem when it begins to interfere in your life or puts you at risk.

It sounds wi fighter like you are under a great deal of stress. ( Brilliant observasion on my part I know) Anyway, I think when stress becomes too much we "check" some in a mild way and some a bit more.
I guess my concern in your case would be in staying alert to what your ex was saying. He sounds very manipulative. Maybe when he starts in on the bull you could just hang up? Is this any kind of option or would it make the situation worse?

Just thinking I guess of a way to cut it and him off before it got to be a serious problem.

Take care and I hope you can get things settled.

place