Hey, you know what? You're young. You say all you want to do is have babies? Well, to do that you need a guy who has a good income that will withstand the economy. You have a good start there. What I think you need is someone who can also help you become a stronger you. The bf and then husband has to be able to let you grow into yourself. What you do need now is to build up (through working on it) your self esteem and determination. You must have goals rather than a series of wants. You must be happy when you reach a goal so you can then go on to the next. You must (MUST) be happy if you fail to reach a goal too. That's a life lesson. You cannot let missed goals, failures, screwed up attempts get you down. You have to laugh both at wins and losses. Gains and failures. Life is very very funny - and very very sad. At the same time. Only you can create those feelings inside you. Your bf will not leave because you're not like him. He may feel you're a good match (hey - he's there now right?). My wife and I are nothing like each other. We're together, it's not a "full marriage" but it's what it is. You did say your mom was hard on your sister - look at your own relationship with your mom & family and find out "is there something that they do that makes me feel the way I do?" Something where if you don't do something your mom approves, you feel down, degraded and "wrong"? Possibly your feelings are results of "training" you got from your mom. We're all a result of the "domestication" our parents put us through. It's kind of like how a circus animal acts - on queue and as the result of many repetitive loops around the same obstacle course. It can be broken.

Do you know if someone in your family helped create your feeling of self worth? Did a dad/mom/brother put you down when you failed at something? This may be a problem you have to address with a therapist. I grew up an only child with a mom who was not really strict - but rather had her own "thoughts" on life. Our conversations typically went like this. She would talk and I would say u-huh, yeah, uh-huh. She would tell me "you don't want to be like them", "why would you do that?" and so on. With only one mom to "enrich me" and someone who was not really into social adeptation, I was a bit lost in terms of life. I had to hide my first girlfriends from her thinking she wouldn't approve. Eventually she met two of my girlfriends and then my future wife. I don't tell her about my finances because hers are doing so well, but my debt has climbed pretty good. I've been trying to deal with growing my self esteem all my life. Been pretty hard but it's possible. Growing self-worth, boundaries, goals, strengths and a good attitude is really essential in life.

Start by saying "hi" and smiling to everyone you meet. Seriously - this can make you feel a lot better throughout the day. If you are happy even if they aren't - you can nuture yourself and be able to know you're starting to get on the right track.