Great job on not cutting! I know it is very hard. You said you do it to punish yourself for being worthless--has someone told you that throughout your life? Could you tell us what makes you think you are worthless? I understand about wanting to release the emotional pain, but think of this...you cut, you feel better momentarily, then you feel bad about cutting...look at the emotional pain you went through last night to try NOT to cut. I hope that by saying why you feel worthless, we can help you move that thought around to something more positive, something will help on your journey to not cutting. I don't know if you've seen this site http://www.selfharm.net/fself.html but you may want to check it out.