Hi MK,

You ask the $100,000.00 question! Which begs the answer: "You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.

I know you want to open up lines of communication with your sister again, but it really is up to her. I have tried to bring 2 ex husbands to therapy to open their eyes to their pattern of behavior, but both Narcissists would not open up, not be honest, in fact they both became MORE angry and resentful. And to date they are still leading miserable lives. They will readily admit to that. But they can't help themselves.

Here's a link to Sam Valkin's FAQ's on NPD. I found it very helpful.

I have a gay sister too, but at age 60 I have no right to tell her how to live her life (even though she's joined a yoga-esque cult and changed her name to Ma - something-or-other). She's on anti-depressants, has 3 dogs and 4 cats, a girlfriend with spending issues, and barely enough money to get by. Yet she claims to be happy? I guess one mans insanity is another mans ordinary.

Good luck to you and your family in understanding your N.

VoN