I went to T today with my fear. I admitted how paranoid I am with one of my twin daugthers aged 15. I said I feel angry at her almost, afraid she is going to bring trouble to my home..T said, you feel she is putting her self at risk? engaging in risky things? I said, yeah, but she isn't, I know she isn't but my head wont listen ... T said, its you when you were her age that put herself at risk, its you that engaged in risky behaviours...then wham it hit me, the yrs I spent in a drunkern haze, by 15 I was a nightly drinker and passing out and having to sleep where I dropped...I said, but, but I thought I was having fun but it wasn't fun, it was bloody awful and I couldnt talk for ages, I was seeing all my past but with saddness this time...I said, but why didnt I see how awful my life was then? T said, because no one showed you anything different...she asked if Had been afraid then? I said, well I guess, but I was so drunk I never felt it...but yeah looking back now with my adult eyes, it was pure hell!! and then I said, and I can see my daughters life is nothign like my life...T nodded...I actually told T I cant talk at the moment, I feel shell shocked....I came home and felt like kissing all my walls and floors and being so thankful for my life now!!....I'm glad its finally consious just how awful my youth was...Its been chasing me like a stranger in the shadows...oh god, I dont know why I got a second chance, but I am so thankful I have!...I never, ever want to have to live with feelings like I use to have...geez I am so fortunate to have a T that is right on the button, who sits patiently waiting for me to be ready for every stage we reach....man I would die if any of my kids were lying drunk out in the street somewhere, where the hell was my parents!!....