K--you will have YOU. No matter what, you will always have you. I know you don't feel like it, but you are a stand-alone whole person. Trust me, I know the heartbreak of having no one, but I also am learning to know the comfort of having myself. Also, listen to the words you're saying, "what if". You are using precious energy and creating bad thoughts for yourself by worrying about this. Spend that energy thinking of how to talk to him, how to remain calm. These may not be techniques you know, but you can learn. The more you think about "what if" the more it will eat at you and create a big sour spot. Maybe write down why you think he will leave you, then discuss that with him. You know you are more likely to SI if you are alone and this upset, so please try some calming techniques. Remember that we are here with you.