You have nothing to apologize for. I think it would be a good idea if you can get in to see Benjamin. I know you are trying not to isolate--it's vey hard when all you want is curl up and be alone, while at the same you want to be held.

It would be good to practice those techniques as often as you can, even if you're in the midst of a full blown got-your-anger-on. I know you try, I hear it in the words you say.

Why are you doing Luke's essay? And Heather's? Please please please don't say that you are taking on other's work when you can barely keep your head above water,