you are not a coward court knee, you are in pain and you are surviving.
You dont sound immature from your writings - you sound thoughtful and mature of spirit.
hope you have someone you can talk to about this -and I hope your father doesnt live with you anymore (if im reading that right about the abuse) if he does and its still going on is there someone you can talk to about this? can you live somewhere else? with another family member?
Dont let others steal your future, the best revenge is a life well lived - yuo can get through this - take care P7
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts 
its how many times you get back up! 
(Thanks to fenrir for my Picture 
)
When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown,
Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly.
by Patrick Overton, author and poet