ps to that ... u know what is even more odd ... i look so normal on the outside ..and ppl think i look so good..b/c well i've lost weight ..and well many ppl know my father in town ..so many saw me when i had my nervous breakdown many years ago.

So they see how far I've come ..On the "outside" yah big deal I look great ... So what? ... men well i find it so annoying actually. I mean yah it's nice to look nice of course, but i find it irritating ..

does this make sense?

so i sorta dread that even

I don't think i'm making sense cuz this isn't even important... cuz yah i don't want to look gross, but only in my lil world...and really i act like a freak is what is really the problem

I shake ..i talk and ask questions and forget that i did..so then i don't know what ppl are talking about when they are answering the question THAT I ASKED.

*shakes head*