Quote:
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There is a feeling that deep down, I am a bad person who needs to hide my truest self. . .even though when I try to figure out why I am bad, I can't think of any reason. But it's just something that I feel. And I am afraid that if people really knew me, they would not like me. I'm afraid they only like the surface me.
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This could reflect a lot of things. One thing T and I talk about is anxious attachment and the insecurity that leaves behind.
I have periods of silence that aren't censoring that she refers to as preverbal. It's like I have feelings and ideas there somewhere but completely out of reach and there are no words for them. It's really hard to be in that state, but comforting to be there with T because she understands and accepts.