Ummmm, who says? I think that's a very dark view. Does your therapist share your vision? I would be worried to be with someone with so little hope. The truth is, if we see "well-adjusted" people who do not seem to suffer the effects of pre-verbal trauma, we do not even think to look into their past, so we miss all these people from our "scorecard" who had pre-verbal trauma but turned out fine. In my second session with my T (it shocks me a bit now to think we did this work so early), we went back to my pre-verbal state (i.e. infancy) during EMDR and did some healing. I don't feel that my most basic sense of self was poisoned, so this isn't a universal response. We did other early life work on other occasions during ego state therapy. The latter is really empowering, because it teaches the executive self to go back and help the traumatized younger selves, to rescue and care for them.

Anyway, I think there are a lot of things in life, both in and out of therapy, that can be healing to pre-verbal trauma. I'm not saying it's easy, or even possible for everyone--a lot seems to be chance on what comes later in your life, but it is not so overwhelmingly dark for all as you suggest. Different experiences and techniques can help different people. Are you going in a direction in therapy that you think will help? If not, follow your gut.

I haven't heard that before. Can you say more? When is it supposed to occur in therapy? Within the first month? If it occurs later, it is not considered transference?

If you believe transference is essential to your healing and you don't believe you can have it with females, then you could try a male therapist and see how it goes.

Keep the faith. Healing is out there.