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Old Jan 27, 2009, 05:57 AM
CJR520 CJR520 is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2005
Location: Central Ohio
Posts: 312
Quote:
Originally Posted by used-up579 View Post
Hello. My daughter is 26 years old. And I enable her. I know it now. It's hard not to enable once you start and don't know you are doing it. To make this short, I started enabling her when I divorced my 2nd husband (not her father) when she was a young teen. It wasn't a pleasant divorce and I coddled her to make up for the bad marriage. I felt bad she was stuck in this too.

So now.....she owes me a ton of money. Owes her Grandma, back rent, car payments, has no car insurance....the list goes on. She doesn't follow through on anything she starts.

Today, she told me she joined the gym. I was at my breaking point. I told her she didn't make a wise decision because she hasn't followed through on things in the past and she doesn't pay her bills. She took it personally and started crying. I got upset because she takes EVERYTHING personally and gets so easily wounded and I told her to leave. Now I feel anxiety and guilt for making her upset when I know in actuality she is the one that has made her own bed and I was simply trying to point out the obvious. I am upset she made a commitment to a gym for $30 per month when she has made zero attempts to pay me or anyone else back.

What do I do? Was I wrong? I am questioning it now. I am sad.
I think you can see where you are going with her if you read my other post. My daughter borrowed, begged, and stole from people so she could keep her lazy butt at home and take naps, and play and do whatever she wanted up into her late 30's. Others were raising her kids, etc. The more I did for her, the more in enabled her to keep this lifestyle. Please don't feel quilty!!! Tell Your daughter to get a job and take care of her own home, and buy her own things. I know that my son is a much more satisfied, healthy, person because he has done for himself, his wife, and five little ones. I is hard to break old habits, but we will be o.k.