Deli,

Please do not take responsibility or blame for the apathetic response of your friends or the lack of promptness by your mental health providers. This is NOT your fault. From what you've written, I don't see where you have done anything wrong in attempting to contact your pdoc/t or in asking for a call back. You have every right to be able to communicate, especially when it's about something as important as your mental and emotional health.

About the comment the receptionist made, "You don't have to spell your name, we all know you here". . .this could have been meant as helpful, in saving you time. Or it could have been a bit of a jab, which, if it was, was not very kind. Best not to assume. If you're not sure, try to accept it as helpful. About the lack of response of your pdoc/t, if it was me, I would keep calling until you can talk to them. You really can't find out what the situation is until you are able to talk to them.

Most of all, do not blame yourself! Unfortunately, alot of people aren't as sensitive and compassionate as we are, and they don't realize that their actions (or lack of them) can hurt others. But this does not reflect badly on you.