Well it has been a little over a week since I found out. I have decided to not wait for feelings that may not come back. I am trying to make my decision based on what I know I would feel like. I'm so confused. I need to make up my mind of what needs to be done. I want so bad to put my children first and stay with him, but it's been so long since I have thought about myself. The reason I'm not rushing to do anything is because I know if I stay I would have to block it out. I am sick and tired of doing that. That's why I'm sick in the first place.

I guess this would be easier to put behind me if this were not my sister. He and I took her children in our home and took care of them as if they were my own, because she wouldn't. That's when I was having alot of problems, and she never helped me. I didn't care, because I love them. I almosted hated her, because I had to hear the most perfect children ask why they could not see their mommy. All the while he............
How could he?