I know how you feel Tiffer . Not with the eating so much but in the relationship area right now . ,

I think these messages are placed in our heads from various people in our lives and its a fight to remove them .

For me My parents didn't really care much nor did they try . But they didn't know how because they were not doing well themselves. They were trying to get the neighbors to be thier parents , to listen and love them . they needed love .


I think you should try. We have to do it for us regardles of who stays or leaves . Pound that one in ....


I have absolutely no family Tffer , no boy friend , I have a brother who is my abuser who for my birthday sent me a picture of a red tent beside the ocean with a couple of segulls and a huge grizzley bear standing upright behind the tent.

the caption said

On your birthday , start the day off with coffee and a bear claw .

sounds funny and looks innocent . But he knows I have a red truck and was told to move out and i was planning on living out of my truck .

not a peep in response . from him.

but now the card...


He has a warm house that my parents helped him to buy plus they helped him get his MIT education . for me they didn't even belive I had recovered . they didn't care they didn't ask . My brother and father both sexually and physically abused me . My mother did in her own way as well.

Im used to going it alone Tiffer . I had some paid help and I had some other women who were struggling just as much as myself . We for a while commiserated . In the end it was solely my desision to do what ever it took . One of my old friends I say old because she's bisexual and she hit on me twice . She is still struggling and has not changed .

I will still do whatever it takes even if it's through anger pain and tears .

I have hope some man is gonna think Im great and not treat me like some mental defect because they veiw me that way , Nor one whos going to just toy with me .

You have a husband and children Tiffer . As long as they are not abusing you , you have much to be grateful for .

They are there for you . They do care .
I care that you try because your a sister who sufferes the way I have and I don't want you to suffer any more .

Thats the extent of how I can care though. And really its just about that way with most people.

today I cared about myself by painting my front door . And I finished my bathroom and Im enjoying my beautiful tilled floor . I may not be living here much longer but I have a very nice bathroom now . best place in my apartment .

So what can you do for you today ? what can you do just for Tiffer ? Something that will make you smile ? maybe try to eat right , and nurture some talant of yours that you seem to have forgotten about. or try something new thatyou don't think you can do. and then when you do it you can smile for a while at what you did for you. and then do another thing for you that will make you smile some more .

I stare at my floor over and over. i did such a fabulous job.. Better Homes and Gardens will be calling me for an interveiw soon I know it.

LOL!

I don't know if this will help you ,

thats a sad weakly beating heart but its yours tonight

Patricia