I have to agree with Lenny that this is a very personal issue. I cannot say that my way is the right way.. Although I feel it was the right way for me...I never spanked my second son. I did spank my first son once, when he set the driveway on fire when he was 6 or 7. I did not spank him because he was being bad, rather it was I was afraid he'd by accident hurt himself and set himself on fire.. Of course matches are a giant NO NO.. I felt soooooooooooo bad for spanking him. I never ever spanked him again. He turned out ok...

Now my second son, I never spanked. I did throw oranges at him once for doing something he should not have done. Am not good at throwing oranges as not one made contact. My second son was one of those kids that always gets into things and doing things he should not be doing. I call him a typical boy... Gave me many gray hairs... Even the time out did not work... So I became a shouter.. That did not really work either...I am toooooooooo much of a softie. I don't like hitting or spanking or yelling. But raising kids can be a challenge. AJ from the day he was born was a challenge. He came out screaming and never stopped.....

I did have serious problems with him when he was a teen. But I honestly think the "divorce" and lack of boundries were his problems. I did not know what boundries were until I was in my mid 40s.. So that means I did not set boundries or teach boundries to my son.. Soo the problems we had, had nothing to do with that he was never spanked. More or less were boundry issues which of course is a different topic..

What comes to mind is the "Baby Grace's" trial where her parents did awful things to her to teach her to say "yes mam and yes sir". What gets me is Baby Grace's last words to her mother were "I love you"....Such a sad story.. soo very sad... An example of anger that got out of control...and the child died..

Anyway, forwhatever reason, I just don't like spanking kids. Again, I do not know if how I feel is the right way. I just know it is the right way for me... Just my opinion........