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im having a hard time right now with crumby feelings. what does one do when they have feelings like i have. we have no memory of what ever truam wee must have endured as a child. there is only memory of the effects it had on us. for example becoming an us. but we do have memories of the horrible things that some clan members have done to others. why do we remember those horrible things that we did to someone else but not of what was done to us. susan did such nasty things that we dont deserve to be here. this is a place to heal and we dont deserve to heal. we should just go somewhere and die. healing is for the good and with what susan did we are not good. we are bad. these feelings s*ck. we dont deserve to be here. we just want to cry for all the pain evil ppl have done to you all. you are good ppl and dont deserve to be in pain. it makes me want to sh and to crawl in a hole and pull the dirt in over me. i hate these memories and having this knowlege of what susan did. i wish i never knew. *sigh* what to do with feelings like these. i cant sleep or eat or do anything. denise has to do everything cuz i cant. makes her nuts cuz she dont know what to do with me. i dont know what to do with me. im sorry for taking up your time and taking up space on this board. i jist dont know what else to do except sh and denise would be very mad if i did that. but that is how i feel.
sorry
jess of the clan
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Life is like a box of chocolates and I always get stuck with the nuts.  |