I know if I were in your shoes, I would be devastated beyond words. There would be no way I could remain with him.

As for the children... As a (adult) child of divorced parents, my parents marraige was strained enough that it was a HUGE sigh of relief when they got divorced. Seriously like a huge weight on my shoulders was lifted. The circumstances that brought it about were incredibly painful, but having them no longer together and no longer at each other's throats is a major blessing. It was hard to be around them when they were married, because there was always tension and anger and conflict. That feels VERY unsafe to children. My parents, unfortunately, did not shield us from the conflict so we witnessed a lot of ugly fights. But I'm here to tell you that even if we hadn't seen the fights, the tension in the air was so thick you could cut it with a knife. That doesn't feel safe for children. It's not a good environment to grow up in.

It's my opinion that, depending on how able you feel to cope with this, it might be better for the kids if you left. Take that decision very seriously, though, because some people are able to repair their marriage. I just know that if I were in your shoes, I could not get past that. An affair, maybe. An affair with my sister? Hell no!

I don't know if this helps or not Best wishes to you in dealing with this. What an awful situation to be in

*safe hugs* if wanted

Angela