Dear jbug,

There ARE great, new medications that can bring you OUT of this cycle. I was amazed what the bipoar meds & shift in behavior did for me. Before the meds & a big change in my behavior I was living the life you describe in your posts, for years, swinging - I wasn't living - existing perhaps. Jbug, IMHO check w/ your Pdoc, & I have a suggestion that works wonder for me!.....
I found if I take action first (& I have to push myself!!) then good feelings follow! I was waiting to feel better first, then action would follow.
So maybe you could try Actions first
(push yourself)---> Good Feelings!! may follow!!).

Thinking of You w/ Love,
Holmes