I have a very hard question for you honey. You said you are breaking free from people that hurt you and you are taking care of you.....Does that include Connor? Honey, if you can look at this from an outside point of view, this relationship as you describe it is not healthy at all. There should be no punching of walls, no screaming, no using hurtful things against you. There should be no shoving, no pulling. It scares me quite a lot to worry what will happen next. What if one of you gets pushed over the edge? I read and re-read this last post and in one breath you are so angry at him and in the next you are almost defending him, saying he rants at you about your room because he knows it bothers you. But if it bothered you enough you would either clean it or ask for help. You cleaned it to make HIM happy, not to make YOU happy. Really the messy room is just a catalyst for bigger issues with you two. I worry about you. Don't tell me you'll be ok, either; that he would never hurt you. He already has. I honestly do not want to upset you, I adore you; however, I think if you are determined to rid your life of the people that are toxic to you, you need to really look at your relationship with Connor. I hope you don't walk but run to your new t to help you get things straightened out. Don't you let that shining star start to dim!