Good for you! That's the healthiest I've heard you sound in a long time! You hold tight that thought about your dad (I'm not putting 'foster' because anyone that loves you like that is a dad with no prefix!). I'm glad you are starting to realize all this and I know how hard some of this stuff is. Make sure...make sure that you do honestly put you first, your health (mental and physical) comes before anything. Because someday, when I'm listening to the radio, a tear will slide down my cheek because I knew you when.