thats a good idea Chaotic13 and sittingatwatersedge, about writing down what happened - have already picked on somthing that was said and am wondering as to what t "really" meant! I try NOT to do that but I guess I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop! I need to hold onto the good things -

T said she was sorry for things that had happened where people had treated me inappropriately - I said thanks and was thinking "why is she sorry? its not her fault" but it made a difference - I think thats actually the first time someone has said sorry for what happened in the outiside world - no the second! but he didnt mean it and it showed. It made a difference - isnt that strange ... my T is also is the only one who has said to me that being sa when i was a child was not my fault - I always thought it was.....