Listen silver-moon, I don't know what you did or do, but there is no way that cutting will make it better. This feeling that you must punish yourself is scary, because you can slip and cut too deep. I can't say in detail very much, but I can say that I know for sure this does not help. Please talk to someone, anyone. There must be someone you feel you can trust, or at least keep writing here. I will stay on line. Can you try to say what you feel you have done that is so bad you feel you need to punish yourself?