and in a way it's nice to see your pain and feel it in physical form?
there have been times i've thought about self-injury but i know in the end its hurting me more and won't help no matter how much it seem like it may.
i know there is little chance that what i say will be something you haven't thought before/ something you don't already know but i have to anyways...
it ain't worth it m'dear. i know it seems like it is, but it's really not. it's just a vicious cycle of doing it, feeling ashamed, and feeling like you should punish yourself in someway for it leading to doing it more. and it doesn't help when someone see's the marks/cuts.
i'm sure you've heard it before, but find someone you trust and know and whenever you feel yourself going to that point of no return, call them/meet them/contact them in some way and just talk to them. be upfront and blunt with them about your feelings and just ask them to help you if they can.
think about the way you'll feel and how satisfying it will feel when you know you've overcome that part of your past.
i hope this has helped at least some.
i gotta go. wish i could say more.
e-mail me sometime
ami.