Good plan on writing it down and posting it on the wall! I know the urges are hard to fight, no matter what frame of mind you are in.

I like your rephrasing to you hate having been hurt. That's a lot different from being ashamed. Being ashamed indicates that you had something to do with it. Hating that you've been hurt states you feel a great deal of pain from it--from there you can work towards healing. I believe in you Molly.I've seen such strength from you over the past few months, from someone who could barely walk through the door at an interview to someone who actually went into a room and started talking about her pain and feelings with someone she doesn't even know. What progress!!! It's a slow and painful path, but you aren't alone.