My T and I have been trying to work on the relationship I had with my mom.
My mom passed this past August. Everytime I try to work on the issues it kills me because I loved my mom even though she was far from perfect.

My T told me that she knows its really difficult to do this but she doesn't want me to minimize what I had been through either. She tells me that it's ok to love my mom and be angry with her at the same time. I understand what she is saying but I loved my mom more than she upset me, maybe the anger will come in time.

I find it difficult to work on, my T doesn't push me and she's very reassuring. Sometimes I start to talk and then can't. I know she knows its difficult, sometimes she will be really quite and other times she will say she is really sorry ect.
My mom and I had a little blowout before she got sick and passed and I feel really guilty right now, it happened so fast before we could even deal with the issue.
As soon as we found out she had cancer she had passed within a month. During that time I was able to be with her but laid the issue to rest because I didnt want to hurt her. The issue killed me though.

My T hit the nail on the spot, she asked me what I would say to my mom right then if I could, I told her that I wanted to tell her I love her, that I wanted to hug her. She said and you wanted her to hug you back. She was right, I needed to know my mom loved me.

How do you finally talk about this stuff, will it get easier?