I have let her know I'm there for her and she seems to be getting along ok, taking in what I say and incorporating it into her everyday life. She didn't want to take time off college to sort out her housing, because her lecturers wouldn't let her, but I said "Just go and get the person you go and see to either call them, talk to them face to face, or write a letter for you to give to them when you next see them". She said she would go and see the person today. I hope something's getting done asap because she's out tomorrow

I figured something out today that I've never spoken about before.. And just blocked out.. i was talking to someone online from SWEDA at the time.. She asked why Bryony (my twin) also threatened to beat me to a pulp if I so much as breathed a word about Thomas sexually abusing me.. I said I wasn't sure.. Then it suddenly clicked..

I looked back to then, and remembered something that I'd blocked out all these 7 years that I've not said a thing about..
I remember so vividly now, Bryony was also my abuser.. Sexual Abuser as well as Thomas THAT'S why both him and her said "Don't you dare say ANTHING, not ONE word about this 'sex stuff' to ANYONE or I'll beat you to a pulp.." I understand now.. I remember being in the room with her and 2 of her friends... And they got me to take all my clothes off *gulps*. Because I'd developed more quickly than all of them.. Then they all started "practising" stuff on me.. It was horrible.. They made me do it to them. I didn't want to, but they forced me.. At the time, I thought it was just harmless fun, but as soon as she said what she did about not saying anything about it, I knew it was wrong.. I just wish I'd said something.. And now, 7 years on, I still doubt myself as to whether it was actually abuse because I did it to them too, even if I was forced.. See? I doubt myself so much.. Was it sexual abuse from her? And her friends?

*sigh* I feel so stupid, like such an idiot, like I should have said something, done something.. And now I feel like whacking my head again. But this time on a wall..