lol, thanks guys.

so... i called reception and tried to book an appt (my grand plan was to not call him, just show up for my appt time, and then he wouldn't ignore me, surely?). they said pdoc is booked out for the next month . so i took a deep breath and said "ok, can i leave him a message?" and they put me through to his voicemail thingy! so i got through eventually.

pdoc called me back 2hrs later. we're meeting next wednesday, at the hospital which is attached to his usual practice. i dont know what he usually does at the hospital, but he said we would have all the time in the world to catch up and could go over an hour if that was needed. he told me to get reception to call him when i got there, or to just call his mobile myself and he would come down and get me. so i feel a bit better, i think. he seemed nice on the phone, so maybe he is ok with me and doesn't hate my guts.

thank you everyone who has been encouraging me to do this . i am still a bit scared of next week, but i feel better that he at least called me back this time. i'm sorry i haven't been replying to all of your pm's, i've been a bit tired/down/out of it. i will try to get around to pming you all back individually soon, but thought i should update here first before a mob showed up outside my house and threatened to drag me to pdoc's office right then and there!