i think my brain is actually wired this way... i don't think it's learned.

i think abstractly. i can't seem to verbalize these thoughts, only basic thoughts. i can write anything, very strong at written expression. but when i speak i make little sense, my ideas run together, i can't express what i need to. it's not a matter of being prepared or well thought-out.

i manage to explain when talking with my t. he knows how to listen and help me express what i need to. it just takes a while. but i don't have that kind of a setting anywhere else. and i can't get anywhere like this.

there isn't hope. there aren't any answers.