I would very much hope that we clarify that yelling is scolding and not verbal abuse. It's funny, the thread began as discussion between the distinction between spanking and beating. These two things are as far apart as sending your child to bed without supper and starving them.

These issues are very near and dear to all of our hearts, very personal. When I hear yelling I think of something horrible. My beloved Aunt, the reason I am a sane person today was a yeller. She was loud, not abusive. There is a difference. We had a saying in our house, the louder you are the more right you are.

I have an uncle (other side of the family) only three years older than myself, he was more of a brother than uncle. Our children are the same ages. They were not spankers, they were yellers, but their yelling was a horrible thing. I have to add that they did not call her stupid or ugly or anything else that you could put your finger on and say that's abusive. I can only describe it as nailing a stake in the ground. To this day if you raise your voice to their oldest daughter (22 in July) she will cringe in the corner and burst into tears. Just hearing one of her parents scream her name to this day, she has no idea why they're upset or what she did wrong, it's an instant breakdown.

If I fling my arms unexpectedly in the air or in the general direction of my children they do not flinch or fear this (just tried it as an experiment and accidentally flicked his nose because the boy didn't move).