vett, I understand that all too well...and I'm sorry if I came off a little too cut and dry. Actually, after reading heidu's very thoughtful and supportive reply, about all I can think to say is, "yeah!!! what she said!!!" : )

You know, I have so many of the same feelings you do...that I somehow made this bed of a life I now lie in, and that I don't deserve anything better. So I keep telling you that you do deserve better, and that those thoughts are not true, and not real, because I know deep down that's what I need to be telling myself.

So, I'll just keep reminding you, even though I know that you realize it on some level, and maybe it'll really sink in for both of us eventually. : )

*hugs*
mj