i don't have insurance to pay for testing.

i've expressed these to some degree - it hasn't been very long and i don't communicate very quickly. it was on the topic of being unable to communicate in the context of upcoming job interviews that he said he really didn't have any ideas on how i could work on that after we had talked out average preparation possibilities.
i really think there is no answer, so him not knowing what to do makes perfect sense...

the most i can do is learn to mimick. and that's really obvious as fake.

actually, it almost seems easier to talk about emotions, and i know what the problems are, aside from anything undiagnosed.

i think abstractly. i see concepts as a clump, a conglomeration of parts that fit together as a whole, which i feel i totally understand, but cannot describe verbally. i could type it out with some time; as i'm seeing it in words i can see what i've said and where i'm going, and modify if necessary, and take my time in expressing it.
it doesn't help that my memory is so dysfunctional that i lose ideas as i'm trying to verbalize them.

i'm always proactive... though i have no confidence i'll get anywhere. when i've tried everything i can find while believing i'd find something to work and after a decade of doing everything right have no progress i naturally stop believing/hoping...

i see him through uni. i'm supposed to graduate in april, possibly having incompletes into the summer, which might prolong when i can see him for another month but may not since i won't have any classes registered in that term. after that i won't be able to see anyone since i have no insurance.