Thank you all for sharing your experiences with me. I can see that there is no time limit to when one is ready. I know I need to work on these things because of this guilt I feel that I am in some way responsible for her perhaps giving up easily.

My T tells me it's not my fault that she got sick, rationally, I know that but she was a strong women and she gave up way too easily. I feel like what I shared with her a few months before her cancer was too much for her. I have wish so badly that I could take it back.

Miss C, thank you for your advice; I have written my mom a long letter, I am ok for awhile and then it hits me again. I just need to work through this but its too painful to say anything about her except that I love her and want her back.