it sounds like you had no control then - they forced you - so you must not blame yourself - and dont hit yourself in the head!
you sound like you are in a lot of pain and I wish I had more to offer you than cyber hugs
please take care of you - i hope your friend finds somwhere to stay - can she contact the local council - sometimes they will put you up for a couple of days if you are thrown out - or the salvos?
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts 
its how many times you get back up! 
(Thanks to fenrir for my Picture 
)
When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown,
Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly.
by Patrick Overton, author and poet