Maybe.. I don't know.. I just. Hmmm. It's confusing and it's hurting me even more
Just.. Well.. Only just figuring it out and having to think about it again and again, talk about it to people, to help me to figure it out.. I haven't told Connor because 1. I don't want to add to his stresses and worry him even more 2. I don't want to get him angry (at my sister) and 3. He'll probably think I'm lying and it's just another thing to *** to the pile of s**t that I have to deal with.

I didn't whack my head in the end. I was too drained to do it.. I got into bed and cuddled up to my covers for some form of comfort. I was exhausted yesterday, so fell asleep quite early.. Well.. Early for me. I think it was about 1am when i got to sleep, because some complete and utter arse was banging on my wall for no reason!! Somebody was not a happy bunny.

Maybe because I was the youngest in the group.. They knew I'd be easy to threaten into doing something I didn't want to.. And yes, my sister most probably would have carried it out. Although she is the type for empty threats, but she'd love to have beaten me yet again..

Gemma seems happy enpough at the moment, she's seeing some people at college to get her a place to stay, which is great. If they can't find her anywhere to stay but can get her some money, she'll be coming to stay with me for a few days so that'll keep me going. I hope.