thank you for sharing the link, chaotic.

i read through all of that. actually, i started reading through all of that. i was relieved, because i didn't recognise most of the points listed there in myself. and then about 3/4 of the way down, it all started to hit home. oh god. so i admit i just skimmed the rest.

i am with you on not handling being ok. i want to go back to that site and read through it properly, but a part of me is uncertain if i am doing it for reassurance and growth, or for "psychological self-injury", like you said.

i haven't really addressed any of the "you" issues in your post - i will come back tomorrow when i'm thinking straight again and do so. in the meantime, sending you lots of safe hugs >> .