K--what happened to the promise to surround yourself with only people who are a positive influence on you, no negativity, no pressure? To do that, you need to start with you. You are not being a positive influence on yourself, on your health. Re-read what you have written. What if one of us had written that, would you agree with us that that was the way to go? Eat nothing, work out until you pass out, lie to friends, lie to SWEDA. BTW, honey, I thought your lifelong dream was to sing, not be thin. (Which, I've seen pictures of you, dear. Fat, overweight, disgusting--those are not words that came to my mind at all!!)

Of course you don't see it as an eating disorder--that part of the disorder! Most alcoholics don't see themselves as such, either. They just like a few drinks every day. Most abusers don't see themselves as abusers, they just get provoked; the victim made them do it. Most 93 pound anorexics don't see themselves as thin, even when hospitalized with tubes coming out of them. It's why it's called a disorder or disease. You are very intelligent, you know better than this. Would you consider talking to a nutritionist? He/she will advise you the best way to eat to lose weight.

So you are going to work out and if you feel like you are going to pass out, you'll just drink some water. What if you don't feel it coming? Most syncopal episodes you don't feel starting. So you're running on the treadmill, running running running, listening to music, running, you blink then you open your eyes and you're laying on the ground, head is bleeding, arm is broken and ankle is twisted. You passed out, hit your head and arm and twisted your ankle when you went down. Guess where you're headed to--the hospital for a whole battery of tests to find out wy you passed out, even though you already know.

I know you don't want people nagging at you, you want people to get off your back, etc. This is one area where I will keep nagging, poking, proding and anything else. I cannot sit by and listen to you say what harm you plan on doing to your body and know I did nothing to try to convince you to be healthier and safer. It's out of caring and concern, dear.