[quote=--Su--;909253]Thanks everyone!
..he was my first love and he gave me the worst pain I ever felt...
.I feel like I am not worthy enough...
.I dont feel good being with him, but being without him is worse...and I don't know why/ [quote]

Hi Su,
I hope you have been able to remove yourself from this man.

hes an abuser and hes getting off on controling you .

hes your only friend because your trying so hard to get him to treat you well.
there are others out there that can and will treat you better.
Im sorry hes your first one.

Look and see if your father was like this. I have a poem in the creative corner adressing this sort of horrendous treatment .

Be strong and stay away and become aware of your need for" crumbs" given in a relationship. Are you afraid of someone who may want to be around you and with you? It's not about you . Hes done and will do this to others.

Good luck to you.

Patricia